Poor Scotty
by LauraCynthia
Summary: In which Scotty is the subject of much perturbation. May continue if I think of more ideas. Formerly "A Wee Bit Homesick" Update: Scotty, who never appears in "Court Martial", makes a brief appearance afterwards.
1. A Wee Bit Homesick

**A cordrazine overdose isn't the only thing that can drive a man into the Guardian of Forever. Alternate ending to "City On The Edge Of Forever."**

Kirk and Spock leapt through the foggy arch, McCoy following seconds after them. Kirk turned to them., shaking his head. "Note to self; never, _never_ go back through that thing again."

Uhura started, jumping back. "So soon, sir?" she asked, her eyes wide. The two security officers who'd accompanied them down to the planet were staring at their shoes, trying not to look up at the captain. "You were only gone for a minute." She cast her eyes downward as well.

"What?" Kirk asked, turning to McCoy and Spock, who shrugged (Bones) and raised an eyebrow (both). He scrunched his eyebrows together, tapping his lower lip. Then, his eyes popped open. "We brought 6 people down here. Where's Scotty?" He looked in all directions.

Uhura bit her lip and clasped her hands behind her back. "While you were away, sir, the gateway was still showing images of Earth." She paused. "When he saw Scotland, sir, well…he couldn't help himself."

"Oh, no. No." Kirk held his head in his hands, groaning, eyes closed. "No. Not _again_…"


	2. Tribbles Have Consequences

"Steady as she goes," Kirk muttered, poised on the steps in front of his chair like a figurehead on a ship.

Uhura pressed the earpiece into her ear. "Hello?" She listened briefly, nodding, before drawing her face together in a frown. "I'm sorry; can you repeat that for me please?" she asked, pressing a few buttons. She nodded again. "That's what I thought you said. Right…I'll tell….him." She switched off the message and faced Kirk, disturbed.

"What is it, Lieutenant?" Kirk asked.

"Sir, we just got a subspace transmission from a group calling themselves the…the SPCK…" She bit her lip as amusement joined the confusion. A giggle escaped. "Sorry, sir…" she blushed.

"S-P-C-K? Well, aside from being Spock's name sans vowels, what does it mean?" He frowned. "And why is it so funny?"

"They told me they're the 'Society For The Prevention of Cruelty to Klingons', sir." She covered her mouth, smiling. "And they w-want to speak t-to Sc-scotty…." She shrugged. "A-about a certain tr-tribble incident."

Kirk ran his hand over his face. "You're kidding me…"

She shook her head.

"Really?"

Uhura nodded. "Shall I tell him, sir?"

Kirk thought for a moment. "No, no, I'll tell him myself," he assured her, waving her offer away. As he strode off the bridge, he muttered to himself, "I'd kind of like to see the look on his face when I do."


	3. Scotty Makes His Presence Known

**I was thinking about the white sound device and why it masked heartbeats but nobody heard whooshing blood through veins, digestion, etc. Thought of this. Enjoy!**

Leonard McCoy tossed the white sound device up and down in one hand, feeling its weight. "You know, Jim," he muttered under his breath, "technology never ceases to amaze me." He moved around behind the captain's chair, still studying the object.

Kirk leaned his head back, looking upwards at McCoy. "How so, Bones?"

"Its potential for good _or _ill, for one thing." McCoy held the object out for Kirk to see. "Take this device, for example. With just the flip of a switch, it can eliminate all ambient sound. You have no idea how a thing like this could be misused." He rounded the chair and stood facing Kirk. "Let's say there was a red alert, for instance. Now, if you had designs on endangering someone's life, you could set fire to someone's quarters and use this on the alarm; they'd never hear it. Or suppose you wanted to move through an area undetected." He leaned against the rail. "'Course, we could parlay it to _our _advantage someday. It all depends on whose hands you put it in." He chuckled. "Something else just occurred to me."

Kirk smiled. "What?"

McCoy crossed his arms over his chest. "It's a good thing I don't practice medicine in the twentieth century, let me tell you. Some wise guy patient – you, for instance-" Kirk made a wounded face as McCoy gestured to him with the object "-could turn off his heartbeat and breathing just prior to me having a listen. Let me tell you, _I'd_ be the one having a heart attack then," he drawled, pointing the device at himself.

Kirk smiled and turned to the communications station. "Lieutenant Uhura, has the crew begun boarding the _Enterprise _again?"

"I don't know, Captain. Let me check with the transporter room." She turned in her chair and leaned forward over her console.

Suddenly, a loud growling roar filled the bridge. Kirk, Uhura and the other crew members started. McCoy jumped three feet in the air, fumbling with the white sound device before dropping it on the floor with a clatter. He staggered backwards, paling and clutching his chest. "What in the name of all that-" Seeing Kirk's worried expression, he sucked in a breath. "I'm okay, I'm fine. For now." He straightened up. "Jim, what _was _that?!"

Lieutenant Uhura covered her mouth, smiling. "Captain? I'll let _him_ explain." She pressed a button.

"Who him?" Kirk asked.

An embarrassed laugh came over the comm. "Hello, Captain. Did I frighten ye?"

Kirk stood up from his seat. "Mr. Scott." He tugged on his sweater. "Welcome aboard. Would you mind explaining what just happened?" He motioned over his shoulder, even though the chief engineer couldn't see him. "I think it took ten years off of Bones' life."

McCoy coughed. "Try fifteen."

Scott chuckled. "Oh, I'm sorry, Doctor. I, uh, well, in all the excitement today, I completely skipped lunch. So what ye heard was me stomach growling."

Kirk sighed. "Your stomach, Mr. Scott?"

"Yes, sir. I dinna realize how famished I was."

McCoy strode over to the comm. "Scotty, please do us all a favour and eat _something_, _now_. Doctor's orders."

"Yes, Doctor. Scott out."

McCoy bent over and retrieved the device from the ground. He cast a sideways glance at Kirk. "See what I mean?"

Kirk nodded. "Now would probably be a good time to deactivate that thing..."


End file.
